Wellness, Anxiety, Psychosis
Warm and sunny today. My nieces and their parents flew back home to Denver this morning, so fingers crossed I'll get some free time to work on the search for a literary agent next week. Mental health is still good, I've not been thinking about any anxiety the last couple of days.
I had a short reminder of it yesterday at dinnertime when a glass of French wine went to my head, but that soon morphed into pleasant tipsyness. I rarely drink alcohol, being actually drunk is not great for my mental health, apparently alcohol can inhibit the benefits/effects of my anti-psychotic pills I take - Clozapine. It takes a ridiculously small amount for me to feel a bit drunk, probably because it mixes with the Clozapine I think.
I was reading an interesting man's website today, he's a writer and I was reading his thoughts about being a christian who believes, like me, that God sometimes talks to him in various ways. But, again, like me he also has elements of psychosis. It can be challenging to juggle the two and live your life anyway, but it can be done.
That kind of thing, unless the person is severely unwell, is, for me, a fairly simple 'first world problem'. Not for people who are acutely unwell, but sometimes I just feel lucky to not be living in poverty, or in Syria for example.
Took my nieces to the trampoline/soft play park today, with their dad and grandpa. Needless to say we all liked it. I am liking taking my nieces out in the car in their car seats, a new experience for me.
Without traffic it took me 20 minutes to navigate myself out of the haphazardly scattered town centre car park, the road markings were barely visible and I didn't know what I was doing. My blog is not set out to be about childcare, it's more about my mental health. Which has been good today, I always think less about my anxiety when they are visiting. My mum and I then took them to the library, and they were happy looking around while my mum and I had a little sit down.
It is important to me to be able to do that a few times a day, otherwise I find it hard, but then life is hard sometimes. I think life is supposed to be challenging at least one day in every three. So I did think about anxiety a couple of times today, but it doesn't really take hold. Oh and it rained today, which my mood is sensitive to. Like lots of people I certainly perk up when it's sunny.
Spent the day with my nieces, almost two and almost four. They live in Denver and are staying with their grandma and me for a week (brilliant).
We drove to Eastrop park, which was nice. I was remembering the last time we took them there, last summer, when I was bothered by my fast heartbeat which I used to get from time to time, a product of having panic attacks for a few years back in the day I think. It is superb to remember how much better my health is now.
My nieces being born and stepping up to the challenge of looking after them is something that has always made me feel very normal, and it has been instrumental to my improving mental health.
I am doing much better now than I was almost four years ago. It has been good for me to look after them, they lived close by for over three years, it took my mind off of my own mental health problems a bit, and taught me some of how to be a confident and responsible adult.